My name is Copernicus Czyzniejewski[a], and I also go by “Ernie” or, on rare occasions, Leon. I was born in Bowling Green, Ohio, on the beautiful day of August 25th, 2006; to 2 professors at Bowling Green State University, the most AIDS-ridden hellscape outside the African continent. After spending the first 6-ish years of my life there, we moved to Springfield, Missouri, a rather large town in the Ozarks; where my dad got a job at Missouri State University, and my mom went through several different careers, mostly involving journalism. I went to Jarrett Middle School, the most ghetto shithole on the planet, where I learned my first instrument: the clarinet. Throughout high school, I also played bass clarinet and bassoon. I also taught myself to play bass, guitar, and drums at home; and I felt like a rockstar. From a young age, I had great interest in the fields of geography and mathematics. From a very young age, I could name the capital of just about every country in the world; which is an ability that languished overtime. I spent my life at K-12 schools pretty much doing the bare fucking minimum, and I got by quite well. I missed out on teen love; and I don’t care.